my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
