is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
