Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
