that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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