Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
