She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
