my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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