then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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