he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
