Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have feelings that need drinking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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