is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.