so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.