i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood