my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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