Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?