I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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