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im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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