Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed