I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
