i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize