fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
