I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
