One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
