youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
