i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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