she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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