do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
