Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
