Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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