The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can I color on your dick again?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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