Just fell off a train. Bad.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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