Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
