i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
