If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
