So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
