So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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