we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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