that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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