Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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