What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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