Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
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What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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