You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
