I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
