i need an iv and a liver transplant
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
