I hate your face
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
