I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
