I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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