there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
