piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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