and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
