we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
