Whod you bang
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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