yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
