dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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