Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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