i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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