i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
