she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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