My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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