The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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