After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
