Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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