I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
