remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize