Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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