The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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