Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
