Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
