The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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