If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
