u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
