I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
only if we run a train.
done.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
