i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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